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HMARK
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Postby HMARK » Sat Sep 23, 2006 7:54 pm

Edit - you may have to go back to the bottom of page 1 to make any sense of this diatribe......

:wink:


I needed to reply to 'Dr. Don' -

Here is his almost instant answer back -

again, thems first mines second -




Subject : Re: The savior Justina Capella

| | | Inbox


Dear S***** J *****e

I got your mail and Madam Confirmed that you were the
one she referred to me. Well i was instructed by madam
to send you an authorization letter ( Letter of
Authority ) which will enable you to claim the funds.
All you need to do is to tell Mrs Justina Capella to give
you the contact of the security company, before i will
go to the Malaysia High Court of Justice to prepare
the authorization letter in your name.

Please note that this person you are dealing with is a
very respectable woman, her Husband died in our
hospital in the year 2000 on a very cold Sunday, they
are both respectable and very honest to people, so
please ensure that you help her, because she is really
down and her late husband's people are very wicked,
and they has misused all her properties apart from
this money that is in a security company. so do not be
worried of anything, because she is a Godly woman who
has the fear of God.

Waiting to hear from as soon as possible.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr. Don Williams

******** <*******@hotmail.com> wrote:
Dr. Don -

It has become to my attention that Justina needs my personal information. In
reregards to this, I would kindly only ask of your benevolence in keeping
the afoementioned information paddywacked to a cupboard in springly.

Wouldst that be doth too much to ask?

Cleavingly bonded,

Mr. ******* *******
~ God created surfboards so the truly gifted would not rule the world ~

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HMARK
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Postby HMARK » Mon Sep 25, 2006 8:41 am

And it gets more bizzare.

Just killing my brain cells and having fun w/ a bunch a 'tards.

: Monday, September 25, 2006 10:20 AM
To : ******@hotmail.com>
Subject : Re: Requisted Information

| | | Inbox


My beloved Dr. Sexton,
God said in Jeremiah 29:11, "My plans for you are good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope". His plans for you are good, regardless of what has happened in your past. No matter what, His plans will always be for your good! God can turn your setbacks around. He can take your tragedy and turn it into triumph! Let go of the past, seek God's plan and develop that vision of victory for your life.

Beloved, I want you to contact the security company immediately and asked them if you can come over to sign for the release of the funds, which was deposited with them by my late husband. Note that the funds were stocked in 2 diplomatic boxes and you should not let them know what the 2 boxes contain. Please try and contact them immediately. Also, if you can not travel there to sign for the funds release, you can also tell them to deliver the funds to you, as soon as the funds are in your care; I will forward the digital codes to you which you will use to open the boxes. Please make sure you keep this to your self because of my late husband relatives who have been trying to know where the fund is going. Here is the information, which you will use to contact them.

NAME: THOMAS BAKER (DUTY AND FILE OFFICER)
PHONE NUMBER: +44-702-406-4301
FAX NUMBER: +44-870-912-4681
EMAIL: luckyday_security@myway.com
LONDON.

As soon as you get in contact with them let them know that I have made you the beneficiary of my late husband funds, which was deposited in two diplomatic boxes in the year 2000. Also, do not let them know that the boxes contain money because my late husband deposited the money as personal effects.

Please as soon as the funds get to you, try and use it according to my instructions.
Always pray for me and the little girl Victoria who is helping me to type that her days will be long on earth.

God bless you,
Mrs.Justina Capella.

******<h****@hotmail.com> wrote:
Dearest loved one in gods name -

In harmony ith the creators wishes, I have been struggling with my own dear
problems alseit only in health, and monies are blessedly been plentiful.

I have been a lowly country doctor in a small, yet regal contry side village
off shore of Sparts'darby Coast in the queens land. The many maladies I have
been fortunate to cure have been many, bu the most highly sought after has
been my expertise in the diseses of Soddom & Gomoorha. The heathen sex
fiends come to me when the are covered in lesions, only to be healed by the
power of the holy sprit through me!

I am but a lowly messenger for the word of high.

So in my healing, i have too become deatthly ill, I fear not to see many
more a Sunday.

Be it far from me to give you wack apoodles, here is my plight.

My name is Dr. Sexton Jeeves Hipple III, esq.

Contacting me thru mail may be a challenge, as the only delivery is via
boat, and that comes thrice a week boners away, and not full loads be shot.

The address be OU812 Hashingbudlighty, Spart'darby, West Splooge, England

Contact via fax is unlikely as the tele here is on the mend after the big
blow from a storm noticed on the BBC.

My head nurse may have access to a fax machine, but she is away at the
moment, fixing some Haggis problem for my fellow Dr, Aliss Maccaoom.

God speed for you in your hours of need,

Caringly carrying the lords words across th internet,

Dr. Sexton




Hashinglybud, west splooge?

i kinda like the "OU812" address my self.
~ God created surfboards so the truly gifted would not rule the world ~

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HMARK
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Postby HMARK » Mon Sep 25, 2006 8:54 am

Of course, I had to write to "lucky day" security attention Thomas Baker -


Glory be and hallelujah!

Mighty is the sword of jacob and the fallen heroes of Tinsdale!

Mrs. Capella responds to I and requests that I make journey to sign the aforemention papers for your response. Would it be fine and kipper for myself and our entourage to make passage to sign said papers?

Could we confirmation a date to do so?

Fore callous is the hand of the masterbater; his palms grow with glee, we must spite the evil doer whlist he rests!

Do conatct me soon, as time to travel grows short, and we must accelerate this communion as soon as the stars may shine!

Mr. baker sir, thanks be to God, the father and the forever being bonneted serpent - Kinka

Mercifully patient,

Dr. Sexton J. Hipple III, esq.
~ God created surfboards so the truly gifted would not rule the world ~

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Bud
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FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY!

Postby Bud » Mon Sep 25, 2006 9:59 am

DEAR FRIEND, I AM ALHAJI ABBAS IBRAHIM AZIZ. I AM A CITIZEN OF Saudi Arabia, BUT I AM RESIDENT IN DUBAI � UNITED ARAB EMIRATES.I AM VERY SICK WITH CANCER AND THE DOCTORS SAY I HAVE ABOUT 2 MONTHS LEFT TO LIVE. I SEND YOU THIS MAIL WITH THE HELP OF MY PRIVATE NURSE (Francis Nnamani) ASSISTING ME. I HAVE LITTLE TIME, SO I HAVE COMMITTED IT TO SPREADING MY WEALTH TOWARDS BETTER HEALTH CARES FOR MANKIND.I DON�T KNOW YOU, BUT DUE TO MY CONDITION I AM CONTACTING YOU WITH THE HOPE THAT YOU WILL CARRY OUT MY INSTRUCTION FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY. I HAVE US$20MILLION DEPOSITED WITH A TRUST SECURITY BANK IN EUROPE. I WANT YOU TO TAKE CUSTODY OF THE DEPOSIT AND USE IT FOR CHARITY WORKS AS I LOST MY ENTIRE FAMILY IN CAR ACCIDENT (WIFE & TWO CHILDREN) IN CAIRO - EGYPT WHY ON HOLIDAY IN MAY 2003. IF YOU ARE READY TO DO THIS AND CARRY OUT MY WISH, THEN SEND ME YOUR CONTACT DETAILS. WITH THE HELP OF MY PRIVATE NURSE I WILL BE IN CONTACT WITH YOU. I WILL BE SENDING YOU MY PHOTOGRAPHS RIGHT IN THE HOPITAL ALONG WITH ALL OTHER DETAILS IN RESPECT OF THIS TRANSACTION. I WILL ALSO INFORM YOU OF YOUR PERCENTAGE IN MY NEXT MAIL. PLEASE SEND YOUR REPLY TO ANY OF MY PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESSES BELOW.I AWAIT YOUR REPLY AND MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

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Bud
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Postby Bud » Mon Sep 25, 2006 10:01 am

HMark, I hope you realize this thread will be banished to the OFF TOPIC section when I get around to it

:)

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HMARK
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Postby HMARK » Mon Sep 25, 2006 10:12 am

Sorry Budster, i know my bad.

They are just sooo much fun to screw back with.

Surf related, only sorry.

Gotta kill some time.

:wink: :wink:
~ God created surfboards so the truly gifted would not rule the world ~

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Bud
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MONGO SPEAKS

Postby Bud » Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:12 pm

Lloyds TSB Group plc
25 Gresham Street
London EC2V 7HN
United Kingdom
Email: xxxxxxhoo.co.uk

It is with great honour and previledge that i was able to capture your contact from the internet.My Name is Mr.Mandla Mongo Muenda ,a citizen of South Africa and a credit officer of the Lloyds TSB Group plc Uk.Our Late Customer Mr. Louis Anderson who is a national of your country and who (in this case I am his accounting officer) died along with his wife and his Two sons in a ghastly motor accident along the express way, over 3 years now (August 13, 2002).All the occupants in the vehicle lost their lives.Our late Customer was a successful and an accomplished family man,He was an Oil consultant/contractor with the South African Institute of Mining and Metallurgy.Before his untimely dead,he made a numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months with our bank valued at US$47,000,000.00,(Fourty-Seven Million United state Dollars).Upon maturity several notice was sent to him, but all effort proved abortive.

Since then I had made several inquiries through your Embassy to locate any of his extended relative but this exercise has proved unsuccessful. After several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his relatives through the Internet, to locate any member of his family not much progress was recorded.The board of directors of my bank adopted a resolution,and as the accounting officer I was mandated to provide his next of kin for the payment of this money within 28 working days or forfeit the money to the bank as an abandoned property.Further investigations revealed that he did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, Fourty-Seven Million United state Dollars is still lying in my bank,and no one will ever come forward to claim it. What bothers me most is that The Directors of my bank had planned to invoke the abandoned property decree of

However,I seek your consent to present you as the Next of Kin to the Deceased since you are at an advantage as nationals from the same country ,I have contacted an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin.All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of law.Be Inform also that we shall share the funds in the ratio 50% for me and 45% for you, while 5% should be for Expenses or Tax as your Government may require.Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue.I will bring you into a more detailed picture of this transaction when I hear from you.Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated via my private email address[m
Muenda

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HMARK
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Postby HMARK » Fri Sep 29, 2006 9:26 pm

Bud I promise I will stop.

But I am having soooo much frikking fun w/ these dweebs.


Answering 1 -

Gopdildo to you,

The funds have been sent via Western Union to your oriffice. How is it that it has not been recived? I have worry. And in that woory is the knowledge of the king of kings. The masterbater dildo of kong. All forms were attached to the monies.

I have sent the address, the liscence, and a monetary payment of 50,000 englrsh pounds to the reciver "luckydaysecurity" The Union said it was picked up. Dont tell me the heathen evil doers of woebegotten smegma have interloped it!

Pony balls, it may be necessary to send more money, I dare say, perhaps this time a amount closer to 100,000? I haste make waste to do this, as the funds ar burning pus festering in my account.

Please to tell me the funds are in safe hairy palms at luckydaysecurity.

Comefiiled bugers & blessed fecal matter away,

Dr. Sexton Jeeves *** II, Esq.


>From: "LUCKYDAY" <luckyday_security@myway.com>
>Reply-To: luckyday_security@myway.com
>To: h****@hotmail.com
>Subject: URGENT.
>Date: Thu, 28 Sep 2006 03:58:18 -0400 (EDT)
>
> Good day Sexton Jeeves,
>
>Is a pleasure to draft you once again regarding your consignment that is still under our custody. In regards to this, I will advice you to please forward to us your full information to know who we are dealing with in this transaction and the information required is such as, Full Name, full contact address (Country), international passport or driver’s lenience scan and attach to email and your telephone and fax numbers immediately to unfasten up the delivery of your two consignment.
>
>Waiting to receive the information ASAP.
>
>Regards to you and your family,
>
>Thomas Baker.


Answer #2 -

Humblest one,

Why yes, dearest, I have. I sent all the requested documents, and attachements deemed necessary by the 'luckday security' company.

In the words of Pope Penisdictus III - Tho thine staff is large, dont use it to create strife - only for good and for the good of all mankind.

Having been fortunate enough to have much monies at hand, I decided it would be in the lords best intrest to send some pre-funds prematurely ejaculating to the luckyday security - I be thinking that the securiyt company would appreciate some monies, and thereby be able to flaccidly wangle the funds along.

The monies were sent post haste to through the Western Union Branch here in Spatrs'darby. Don tell me they did not recive the blessed funds! Heathen being may have forskinned the amount due to them!

Dire it is, I may have to forward a double amount to them to keep the filthy hands of evildoers off the said bleesed amounts of money.

I do pray tell that the forms are being recived? I worry constanly that the said intention of eveil is being cast upon the seas. Do not say it! Keep hope alive there is good dildos to be shoved!

Good big dildoes! I am sure they will find the funds, and let you know they are in safe hands.

As with all things blessed, don not fear, cause the big wadoozika is bearing down for a large BM.

For this is the word of the lord.

Erectifully and sploogie yours,

Dr. Sexton Jeeves ****le III, Esq.
~ God created surfboards so the truly gifted would not rule the world ~

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Postby Rocky Rockbottom » Fri Sep 29, 2006 10:17 pm

:lol:

Good stuff you perv... Good stuff.

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HMARK
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Postby HMARK » Sat Sep 30, 2006 5:37 am

Rocky Rockbottom wrote::lol:

Good stuff you perv... Good stuff.


Glad someone likes a sick sense of humor.

Please forgive me supreme overlord! :wink:

I'll stop if they do!

But they keep coming back for more!

I really need to get a life, yeah?

:wink:

Gotta go to work, before I gets in more mischief.

Surf hard, bros!
~ God created surfboards so the truly gifted would not rule the world ~

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Postby Puerto_Rico_Surfer » Wed Nov 01, 2006 8:05 am

YAY I final won!!!! I knew rubbing shoulders with you lucky crazies would be good.

Amazing how many of us board members have gotten lucky and come into large sums of money.

Below is the email I got last night. Well guys I gotta hurry and go down to the local copy shop to scan my ID picture and info so I can claim the prize before I lose out.

SOUTH AFRICA WORLD CUP LOTTERY 2010

Lottery headquarters:
51, Braxton court,
Carlton, eastgate
Johannesburg.

Reference number: ZA/277252662/10

Batch number: SA/2010/ZAR


Congratulations. The South African football association, safa is proud to inform you that you have just won One Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars (US$1.500, 000.00).

This lottery is sponsored by South African football association, safa with fifty-six, 56 cooperate bodies.

South Africa will be hosting the soccer world cup in the year 2010.this will be the first ever World Cup to be held in the continent of Africa. And we are celebrating this golden opportunity with this lottery.

We are also using this lottery to create awareness towards the hosting of the world cup in 2010 in South Africa.

Don’t be surprise that you are one of our winners. The aims of this lottery are to surprise our winners.

However no previous notification is given before your email address was picked for this lottery. Generally email address are picked, the draws are processed by the computer through a special program that is special designed for this lottery, the program is known as Random Access Program (RAP)

This software picks email addresses from the internet and through a random process, picks the winners through their email address.

CLAIMING OF PRIZE

You must ACT QUICKLY to claim your prize as the system will automatically seek out another email address if it is not claimed in the next 48 hours voiding this email and your winnings.

To claim your cash prize please contact the lottery manager Mr. TONY BONGANI immediately with the following information at claimdep@di-ve.com
Full Name
Age
Social Security Number (We are legit corporation and this number is used to submit to your taxe authorities)
Address
Scaned attachment of verifiable photo identification (Passport or State Issued Drivers License / Identification Card)
Bank Name and Account number plus routing number of where you would like your winnings deposited.

Congratulations again from the SOUTH AFRICA WORLD CUP LOTTERY 2010


For security reasons, we advice all winners to keep this information confidential from the public until your claim is processed and your prize released to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program. Please be warned.


Congratulations!!!

Sincerely,
Mrs. Danielle Kennedy
Promotions manager
World cup 2010
South Africa
"Keep firing, make your attackers advance through a wall of bullets. You may get killed with your own gun, but they'll have to beat you to death with it, because it's going to be empty!"

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HMARK
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Postby HMARK » Wed Nov 01, 2006 8:50 am

Run, dont walk!!!!

:twisted:
~ God created surfboards so the truly gifted would not rule the world ~

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Bud
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Postby Bud » Sat Nov 25, 2006 9:42 am

A slightly different angle on this one

-----------
Dear Sir/Madam,

This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have
not yet met. I have to say that I have no intentions of causing you any
pains so i
decided to contact you through this medium.

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I
believe everyone will die someday. My name is Razaq Samiu, a merchant in
Dubai, in the
U.A.E. I have been diagnosed with prostate and esophageal Cancer that
was discovered very late due to my laxity in caring for my health. It
has
defiled all form of medicine and right now, I have only about a few
months to live according to medical experts.

I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared
for anyone not even myself but my business. Though I am very rich, I
was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focus on my
business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all
this as I now know
that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the
money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come
to this
world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it.
Now that I know my time is near, I have willed and given most of my
properties
and assets to my immediate and extended family members and as well as a
few close friends and Schools in the UAE. I have decided to give alms
to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good
deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity
organizations in the U.A.E,
England and Ireland. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I
cannot do this my self any more. I once asked members of my family to
close one of my accounts and donate the money, which I have there to
charity organization in Bulgaria, they refused and kept the money to
themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be
contended with what I have left for them. The last of my money which is the
huge cash that I deposit in a bank in England Uk.

I want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatched it to charity
organizations and let them know that it is I Razaq Samiu that is making
this generous donation.

I am writing this from my laptop computer in my hospital bed in England
where I wait for my time to come. If you are interested to help me i
will give you more information about this like the amount that i
deposited in the bank and Contact of the bank so you can contcat them. I will
also send you a picture of my self when i am on my laptop in the
hospital.

Note that you will take 20% out of the funds and give 80% to the
charity organizations. I pray that God uses you to support and assist me with
good heart God be with you.

If you can help respond back to me on my private email:
razaqin5@yahoo.es

You can call me on: 44-785-258-3060 but not all the time the doctor
will allow me to pick my phone calls.

Razaq Samiu

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Postby HMARK » Sat Feb 03, 2007 9:31 am

Its the Roooosikies now!




FROM MRS. LARISA SOSNITSKAYA OF YUKOS OIL AND BANK MENATEP SPB

Dear Friend,

My name is Mrs. Larisa Sosnitskaya, Personal Assistant to Mr. Boris Mikhail Khodorkovsky, the arrested Chairman/ CEO of Yukos Oil and Bank Menatep SPB in Russia who is presently in jail.

I have the documents of a large amount of funds which he handed over to me before he was detained and tried in Russia for financing political parties (the Union of Right Forces, led by Boris Nemtsov and Yabloko, a Liberal/ Social Democratic Party led by Gregor Yavlinsky) opposed to the Government of Mr. Vladmir Putin, the current President of Russia, thereby leading to the freezing of his finances and assets.

You can read more about his ordeal from the following sites:
Http://www.supportmbk.com
Http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2005/03/29/58914.html
Http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3213505.stm
Http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/3042850.stm

After searching through the books of your Country's Chambers of Commerce and Industries here in Russia, I am contacting you to assist me to re-profile the funds and equally invest same on his behalf. The total amount of funds to be re-profiled is Forty Six Million United State Dollars (USD$46,000,000.00) and you will be paid 20% for your management services.

As soon as I receive your acceptance through my personal email address: mrslarisas@myway.com, I will send you the necessary details and my personal identification documents.

Yours Sincerely,
Mrs. Larisa Sosnitskaya.
~ God created surfboards so the truly gifted would not rule the world ~

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Bud
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Postby Bud » Tue Mar 13, 2007 9:47 am

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